The State Of Affairs Rethinking Infidelity By Esther Perel – a book for anyone who has ever thought Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected – an expression of longing and loss. A must-read for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.